Sr Bernadette Mary Wrack

Archivist

Why did I come? Why do I stay?
How am I a bearer of hope to those to whom I minister?
Why does anyone become religious?

There has to be an inner desire there, which only God bestows on whomsoever He chooses. For some this desire shows itself very early, and is cultivated in a normal family atmosphere. My mother was a daily communicant, and as a child, I was too. Then when I became an independent teen-ager I would attend daily Mass during Lent, or prior to exams, or if there was a Mission.

I had an aunt in religion whom I admired very much. She was always so full of fun, and very creative. But somehow, I didn’t want to follow her example. To me "entering" a convent was like giving up all the opportunities for having a good time. I didn’t want to miss out on anything. I strove hard to have a "good time", but so often it didn’t turn out so well. I was disappointed, things would go flat, or something happened to spoil the success of a venture. I’d go home disgruntled. I was told: ‘You can’t expect to have a good time all your life. Look around you. See how people are suffering,’ etc, etc. This was God’s way of speaking to my heart.

A desire to do something worthwhile with my life began to niggle. I spent more time in prayer, seeking light as to which path to take. In this way I was drawn to the religious life.

At this time I was working in a Government Department. The War was on, and more and more women were being called on to do "essential work". Doing work for poor people would be "essential work". I asked to be admitted to the Home of Compassion to care for unwanted children and babies. I was ready to give up all thought of having a good time, and give my whole life to God.

I had a lot to learn! Getting on with others, let alone finding out about myself and how to get on with ME, proved a lesson it took many years to learn. Even though, on the surface, things were tough and the work was hard, I found I had an inner peace that made me realise–Yes! This is where I should be! This is where I belong! And I was happy! I was having a "good time" in another sense.

Oh yes, there were times when I wanted to give up. The strong support of the other sisters, and the assurance that I felt that this was were God wanted me to be, kept me focused.

Funnily enough I didn’t enter the Congregation where my aunt was–I didn’t want to teach! But I had only been professed two years when I was asked to start my teacher training–not nursing as I had expected, and where most of my companions were heading.

It turned out that this gave me an opportunity of extending my education, and widening my vision. I also learnt a great deal about relationships, both with the pupils I taught, and with the people I lived with. I was expected to become involved in many aspects of community living that I had not been used to before, and to do things I had never done before. I gained experience both spiritually and professionally.

During the course of my life I have worked many years teaching in Maori Schools and started a multi-cultural school in Fiji. Then in the Sixties I spent three years at Regina Mundi in Rome, working towards a Diploma in Religious Studies. On my return to New Zealand I was with the children for a few years. Then I was asked to walk with those young adults who were just beginning their journey as religious, as novice director.

Many changes have taken place over the years. Some have been easy to accept, others have been a struggle. I know that "change" is now to be the normal way of life for the Third Millennium. But I hope and pray that the "change" in me will always be my eagerness to seek God above all things in whatever I do.

Religious Life is not a dramatic series of "highs", but a faithful response to the One who leads us through sickness and health, through joys and sorrows. He leads me in a particular way of life, that I committed myself by vow, more than fifty years ago.

Back to Sister's Stories home